Debbie's Review of my Book

Debbie is my second daughter, and she hasn't been abused. She has nine children - all singles. I am copying part of an email from her here:

"I have been reading your book a couple of hours each day--I have made time for it! I have less than a hundred pages to go. It has been very helpful to me. It has made me think a lot about the reasons why I do the things I do. I am trying harder to do them because I want to, not that I should. Thank you! Also, I am trying to live more in the present and enjoy each day and moment. Thank you for your help. You helped me to see things in a way I hadn't before. Your book can be helpful to everyone--not only to those who have suffered abuse.

I want to tell you that Wendy picked up your book Sunday off of my love seat and started reading it. She was so impressed with your introduction. I asked her yesterday if she meant the prologue or the first chapter; she said both. She told me at least four times that your book had a really, really good introduction. She said that she didn't know Grandma could write so well. (I think that is quite the compliment considering how many books Wendy has read and what a good writer she is.) I just wanted to share that with you. I hope the people that can really be helped with your book will get to see it and read it. Thanks for sharing with us.

Love,

Debbie"

Wendy is Debbie's fifth child. Wendy read a book a day for years. She is now in her third year at university. She is extremely intelligent and also a delight to be around.

I am posting their comments here to assist others in picking up my book to read it to go on a healing journey. There is much in there that is healing to almost anyone. This really touched me also because I tell in the book about writing fairy tales when I was in second grade. A sibling came in and made fun of me because I thought I could write. I threw my little book into the furnace and watched it burn. From that point on I "knew" I couldn't write. I always got A's on the grammar on my papers and C's on the content which further proved I couldn't write. That was one of the major blocks in my writing my book.

Sylvia Coates, (a professional indexer and university teacher) who did my indexing, called me one night to tell me that in her profession she had read over 2500 books, including textbooks. She just wanted to tell me that I could write and that my book was well written. I cried when she told me that. I got a little teary today as well as I read my daughter and granddaughter's evaluation of my book.

My whole purpose in writing my book was to assist people in healing. I am beginning to feel that this is really possible.

Lady at the Pool

While I was swimming my laps, I noticed a woman doing some really good workouts in the water. After I finished my laps, I went over to do my stretch routine and some water aerobics. I continued to watch this woman. After a while, I went over and said how impressed I was with what she was doing in the water. She told me she had taken classes for four years to become certified as a water aerobics instructor. She showed me some new stretch routines and exercises that would assist with healing my hip and knee. During our conversation, I mentioned I had a background of sexual abuse (don't recall just how that came up). She became very quiet, and then related the following story.

She was a teenager, and the neighbor boy was just returning from a stint in prison. Her father was a very compassionate man, and he wanted to assist this boy in turning his life around. He felt that if he could date a really solid, church-going girl, it would help him. So he lined his daughter up with the neighbor boy. She didn't say anything about the date. She hesitated, and I could tell it was difficult for her to go on. When she gained her composure, she said: "I just hoped my parents would be able to find my body so they could bury it." I asked her if he had abused her. She just nodded her head. Again, it took her a while before she could go on. Then she told me that eventually he took her back home. She skipped forward then to an intimate time with her husband. Something was triggered and she freaked out. It was very disturbing to her husband and to herself as well. I asked her if she had dealt with the aftermath of the abuse. She looked at the clock and exclaimed: "Oh, I'm late for an appointment. I'm sorry I have to leave right now." With that, she got out of the pool. I haven't seen her since.

She was 61 years old, and I felt that she had never had counseling or healed from the affects of the trauma of the abuse. If we had just had more time, I think I could have gotten her to open up even more and been able to work through some of her issues. As it was, I told her about my book, my website, and my email address, but I don't know how much of that she would be able to recall when she had opportunity to write things down.

I have continued to be concerned about her. I don't know her name or anything else about her. I continue to run into situations like this. I know how scary some of the feelings that come up can be. I know how unsafe you can feel when you've been abused. I know how difficult it is to trust. I wish I could take this woman in my arms and let her know that there is someone who understands what she is feeling and going through, and that there is hope. When you've lived with these issues a lifetime and haven't dealt with them, it begins to just feel like part of life. But it doesn't have to be that way. There is hope, and there are places of trust. And above all, there is a way to heal. And I am dedicated to assist those who need and deserve healing.

The Illness That Healed Me

Well, today was the day my publisher gave me for my new book being out. That's both exciting and scary. I am a published author, so I've experienced this before and know somewhat what to expect. Scary? Well, that's because of the subject matter. There will be some of my friends and family who will think I am wrong to publish a book like this. They just may walk away and I'll lose them. I knew this was a possibility, but the push from within to complete this mission was stronger than the possibilities of the loss.

I was thinking today while I was swimming about Dr. David Hawkings' muscle testing to calibrate the vibrational level of energies. He has a website and has written several books. I have written about him and his methods. His book, Power versus Force, is a great place to start. Although I don't entirely agree with using the physical body to test the truth (which is spiritual), it does give us a place to start from. Lowest on his energy scale is Toxic Shame which is where I spent most of my life. Toxic shame doesn't define the action but rather the person. To me, toxic shame made me feel I was totally worthless as a person. This is a byproduct of the sexual abuse. Hawkings uses a cutoff at 200 points. Below 200 is what he calls the negative energies. Above 200 are the positive ones. I prefer to label them as vibrations - neither negative or positive - rather lower or higher. Being above 200 puts us in an area that will work for us. One of my reasons for writing my book was to assist those who have been abused to move to the 200+ area. There we can feel good about ourselves and where we are in the universe.

More on this later. Right now, it's time to feed the physical body!

The Illness That Healed Me - surviving sexual abuse and the journey into healing

The Illness That Healed Me is hot off the press this week. It took 20+ years to write. It is meant to assist those who have been sexually abused which stats indicate is 1 in 3 girls by the age of 18 and 1 in 6 boys. I was abused myself as a child by a family member for several years, then by a lifeguard when I was 12 and he was 18. I worked at a local resort and I was abused the entire summer. Then two years later, when I confided the abuse to my seminary teacher, he also abused me. There was also an incident when I was walking home from school when I was in first grade. Two additional more minor assaults occurred when I was an older teenager.

Those who have not been abused have a difficult time understanding why it occurs. When your free agency is taken from you as a child, "no" is never an option. But as adults, no matter what has happened to us, we are responsible for taking charge of our lives and deciding to heal and to forgive. Forgiveness is a must or it keeps us tied to the past and to the perpetrator. The good news is that we can heal (which is a journey not a one-time occurrence).

I will be blogging a lot about abuse in the future.

I will be at UCLA Book Fair on April 24-25 featuring my book. I may also be reached at an email address I set up just for those who have been abused to contact me: puggie37@yahoo.com. I also have a website: www.janiceweinheimer.com.

I have studied and read a vast amount of information. My third therapist told me I had the equivalent of a PH.D in counseling, I just didn't have the pigskin. But he said I had something better - the experience.

I have been a published author in the past and have traveled the western US and Canada as a keynote speaker at many seminars and conferences.

I plan to answer all emails. I am dedicated to assisting the abused to heal and major in that healing is trusting and moving out of feeling shame.