There's So Much Pain. When will it stop?

I just finished watching a movie "Our Fathers" based on the sexual abuse scandal surrounding the Roman Catholic Church and several of their priests and Cardinal Law. The movie was done by Showtime in 2005. It wasn't an easy watch for one who has been abused, but at the same time it drew out my heart to the hundreds of young boys who had their lives wrecked by a person of "trust" in their religion. It was heart-wrenching to see the tragedies in the families as well as the boys. The outcome of the abuse was that several boys committed suicide, some drank themselves to death, some overdosed on drugs, but all were emotional wrecks. They just couldn't live a normal life.

The media made it sound like they were out for money. It had nothing to do with the money they eventually received. One victim said he deposited the check in the bank, but it was "bad money". He had no intention of using it. It was never about the money. It was about seeing some justice done in their behalf. It was about seeing the perpetrators suffer the consequences for their vile acts against humanity. But I don't think that ever really happens in this lifetime. I don't think perpetrators can begin to understand what havoc they have brought into a precious life. It just feels like you are going crazy and that their never will be an end to the inner turmoil.

Cardinal Bernard F. Law eventually resigned as archbishop of Boston on December 13, 2002. But he went on to go to Rome and receive even higher honors. So much said for the bungling job he did in covering up the continuing rape and abuse by Catholic priests. He went on to be appointed by John Paul II to a post in Rome, putting him in charge of the Bascilica di Santa Maria Maggiore, with the title of Archpriest. Law will reach 80 on November 4, 2011 and will then lose the right to participate in any papal conclave.

John Geoghan, the priest who was brought to trial for his abuse of minors under 14, was eventually sentenced to 10 years in prison. He was murdered in his prison cell as Joseph L. Druce tightened a crude noose around his neck even as Geoghan begged for mercy - a mercy he had never given to any of his victims. Geoghan lay face down on the floor of his cell not 20 feet from the guard station in a "secure" prison. His 30-year perpetration of young boys came to a hideous end. He had been a pedophile, a liar, and a manipulator and "a threat to any young boy who may have the misfortune to be in contact with him" (statement issued by Judge Sandra Hamlin as she sentenced him to his 10-year prison term).

But what about the victims? When will their sentence be over? The pain just doesn't stop as was attested to by one of the victims in the movie. His whole life was shattered after the attack when he was just twelve. His brother was a victim as well. One family had seven sons that were all molested by Geoghan. The mother had sent a registered letter to Cardinal Law in regard to what had happened, but nothing was ever done. The power and control vested in one man ruined hundreds of lives forever. No amount of money would ever be able to compensate the losses that were incurred. How could money redeem them from the life sentence of hell that had been given them?

I could relate to the stories of these young men. My experiences were different, but the lasting results were the same. They trusted their priest. I trusted my seminary teacher. I had respected, admired, and trusted him. When he violated me, along with other perpetrators, my life as it should have been was over. It would never be the same again. There was no way to retrieve what had been lost. The pain inside my heart, the emotional upheavals, the scars, the fears, the lack of trust were now realities. This was what I was left to deal with. Prison is too good for a perpetrator. What they deserve will be administered by a higher judge some day. They will then begin to know and understand what their lustful desires gone uncontrolled have created. They will know and understand the pain that doesn't stop. But will they ever know or understand what might have been for their victims? What would life be like without the pain, without the fears, with the ability to trust and move forward in life happily? I wish there was a prescription they could take that would open up their heart and give them an understanding vision of what they truly have created. I wish they could literally walk in the shoes of their victims and realize what they stole from their lives. If there is such a thing as reincarnation, maybe their karma will have them being a molested victim in another life, so they can witness firsthand the pain that doesn't stop.