Child Sexual Abuse Reports in Kenya Mirror Sex Abuse Patterns in Boy Scouts of America

I received an email from Kelly Clark, a Portland, OR based attorney devoted to the rights of those who have been sexually abused. Here is the Link to the Kenya Sexual Abuse article: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-11492499. I have spoken with Kelly personally, and he is truly supportive of those who have experienced the trauma of being sexually abused. He fights for them in the courts as well as working on getting legislation passed in favor of the abused. His comments about the Kenya article:

"The news that over 1000 teachers in Kenya have been dismissed in recent years for sexually abusing girls is stunning.

No matter how long I do this work, I never get used to such things—and especially not to such numbers.  If you assume that, on average, each teacher involved had 10 victims—a conservative number, according to psychological literature—there are at least 10,000 girls affected.  But wait: we know that only a handful ever get caught or reported: 10% would be a very high number.  But even if it is that, there would be as many as 100,000 girls abused.  Again, the problem seems to be of staggering proportions.

This dynamic is similar to what we learned in the sex abuse trial of the Boy Scouts in Portland this past spring.  We had over 1200 “Perversion files” introduced into evidence, all concerning Boy Scout leaders sexually abusing boys, just from 1965-85.  Expert testimony established that, for such an environment, each such Boy Scout leader would have, on average, 10-20 victims, and that, perhaps 10% of all sex abuse in the Boy Scouts  would ever be reported—a very optimistic number, the experts agreed.  But if you do that math, it means that somewhere between120,000 and 240,000 boys were sexually abused in Boy Scouting, JUST from 1965-85.  And we know that the Boy Scouts have been keeping their “confidential Perversion files” on child sexual abusers since 1925.    As I have said repeatedly since the trial, I am personally convinced that the problem of child sexual abuse in the Boy Scouts is at least as serious, if not worse, than the sexual abuse problem in the Catholic Church."

Kelly does trial work for the abused against the Boys Scouts, Catholic Church, Seventh Day Adventists,  and Mormon (LDS) Church. His web site: www.kellyclarkattorney.com states: 

"Kelly Clark is a trial and appellate lawyer representing individuals, families and businesses against large or powerful institutions, public and private. He is recognized for his courtroom skills, for his knowledge of public and constitutional law, and for his tenacious and creative litigation strategies. A former two term legislator, as of 2009 Mr. Clark has practiced before or against some 85 federal, state and local government agencies. He has brought cases in state and federal court on civil rights, voting rights, education rights—including pioneering wins for charter schools—as well as cases on religious liberty, free speech and property rights. He has been legal counsel to numerous political campaigns, including legislative, congressional and gubernatorial candidates."

I am very impressed with Kelly's dedication to those who have been abused. It feels good when you have such talent and expertise dedicated to non-tolerance of such pernicious acts. I would like to see more who are devoted to rooting out this "disease" which affects all of us in our country as well as the world. If we could look into the hearts of the perpetrators, what would we discover? Do they have core issues of their own that stem from being abused in one way or another? What sad/bad things have they had to deal with that causes them to act out in such a manner? I believe they have sustained such deep hurts themselves that they only know how to act out in anger. If they were educated and had those who loved them counsel with them, could they be restored to their original blueprint of love? I believe so. I don't think hate and anger will change them. I believe it has to come from a foundation of love and acceptance and them being able to see what damage they are doing to their victims as well as to themselves and their loved ones. 

I am dedicated to getting the word out that there is much abuse going on behind a wall of secrecy and threats. Sexual abuse is never about sex. It's about control. There are positive ways that perpetrators can use to being whole and healed themselves. It begins with them doing their own soul-searching to see what lies at the root of their abusing others. Below their anger, there is pain - pain that is buried. It is pain that needs to be brought to the surface where it can be resolved and perpetrators can become whole and high-level functioning individuals. 

If you know someone who has been abused, or if you know someone who is a perpetrator, encourage them to seek counseling. I also am available and may be reached at: puggie37@yahoo.com.

14 and Abused by a Person in a Trusting Position and Authority

I received a phone call last night from my daughter and grandson. A friend of his at school had confided in him that she had been abused a year ago by a leader in her church. She was 14 at the time. Immediately, the tears came because I was the same age when I also was abused by my seminary teacher. I could relate too well to the feelings she might be experiencing. I asked a lot of questions so I could get a feeling for where she was coming from. My daughter told her about my book, and she was interested in reading it. Their family copy was with one of the older children while he reads it. I told my daughter I'd be happy to give the girl a book.

I spoke with my grandson at length because I didn't want him to feel like he needed to try to fix things for her. I assured him that this deserved professional counseling which she is supposedly receiving. I told him he must have a special relationship with her for her to reveal such inner feelings to him. I would think the first place she would go would be to a girl friend. To confide in a boy, to me, means she has a lot of confidence in my grandson. He is a sweetheart, but I'm also concerned about him. I don't want to see him get involved in a relationship that could create close feelings based on rescuing rather than friendship. That can and does happen too frequently.

I'm also concerned about her relationship with her parents. Are they supportive of her? I hope so. She certainly doesn't need to be receiving any judgments at this fragile time in her life. It seems like everywhere I turn, I hear about more and more abuse. The good news is that she is not keeping it secret which only serves to protect the perpetrator. I asked about the 30-year-old man who did the abusing. Was there any civil action being taken, and thank goodness there is. I asked about church actions but no one knew the answer.

This has been on my mind all day. My book is a bit heavy for a 15-year-old, so I told my daughter to advise her not to read it from beginning to end. The first two chapters are more in story-line. And the counseling years might prove valuable for her. The rest, she could just thumb through and stop wherever her heart tells her. I'm sure there is much there that will assist her. I just don't want her to get too much too soon. It might also be good for her parents to read the book and the leaders in her church.

I just feel so sad that another soul has to deal with such trauma. And it is traumatic! It may well affect every aspect of her life for who knows how long - maybe for her entire lifetime. And all because someone thought he had the right and he couldn't control his own urges. I watch Law and Order Criminal Intent - Special Victims Unit because it's usually about sexual abuse. I don't think we even begin to know the horrors of what happens out there on a daily basis. I so much want this to stop, and I desire to be there for those who have gone through such heinous experiences. Fourteen is much, much too young to be experiencing such things. A fourteen-year-old just doesn't have the social skills and knowledge to know what impact this can have on her life. But a thirty-year-old definitely does, and he deserves to pay for ruining this young girl's life.