14 and Abused by a Person in a Trusting Position and Authority

I received a phone call last night from my daughter and grandson. A friend of his at school had confided in him that she had been abused a year ago by a leader in her church. She was 14 at the time. Immediately, the tears came because I was the same age when I also was abused by my seminary teacher. I could relate too well to the feelings she might be experiencing. I asked a lot of questions so I could get a feeling for where she was coming from. My daughter told her about my book, and she was interested in reading it. Their family copy was with one of the older children while he reads it. I told my daughter I'd be happy to give the girl a book.

I spoke with my grandson at length because I didn't want him to feel like he needed to try to fix things for her. I assured him that this deserved professional counseling which she is supposedly receiving. I told him he must have a special relationship with her for her to reveal such inner feelings to him. I would think the first place she would go would be to a girl friend. To confide in a boy, to me, means she has a lot of confidence in my grandson. He is a sweetheart, but I'm also concerned about him. I don't want to see him get involved in a relationship that could create close feelings based on rescuing rather than friendship. That can and does happen too frequently.

I'm also concerned about her relationship with her parents. Are they supportive of her? I hope so. She certainly doesn't need to be receiving any judgments at this fragile time in her life. It seems like everywhere I turn, I hear about more and more abuse. The good news is that she is not keeping it secret which only serves to protect the perpetrator. I asked about the 30-year-old man who did the abusing. Was there any civil action being taken, and thank goodness there is. I asked about church actions but no one knew the answer.

This has been on my mind all day. My book is a bit heavy for a 15-year-old, so I told my daughter to advise her not to read it from beginning to end. The first two chapters are more in story-line. And the counseling years might prove valuable for her. The rest, she could just thumb through and stop wherever her heart tells her. I'm sure there is much there that will assist her. I just don't want her to get too much too soon. It might also be good for her parents to read the book and the leaders in her church.

I just feel so sad that another soul has to deal with such trauma. And it is traumatic! It may well affect every aspect of her life for who knows how long - maybe for her entire lifetime. And all because someone thought he had the right and he couldn't control his own urges. I watch Law and Order Criminal Intent - Special Victims Unit because it's usually about sexual abuse. I don't think we even begin to know the horrors of what happens out there on a daily basis. I so much want this to stop, and I desire to be there for those who have gone through such heinous experiences. Fourteen is much, much too young to be experiencing such things. A fourteen-year-old just doesn't have the social skills and knowledge to know what impact this can have on her life. But a thirty-year-old definitely does, and he deserves to pay for ruining this young girl's life.