Lady at the Pool

While I was swimming my laps, I noticed a woman doing some really good workouts in the water. After I finished my laps, I went over to do my stretch routine and some water aerobics. I continued to watch this woman. After a while, I went over and said how impressed I was with what she was doing in the water. She told me she had taken classes for four years to become certified as a water aerobics instructor. She showed me some new stretch routines and exercises that would assist with healing my hip and knee. During our conversation, I mentioned I had a background of sexual abuse (don't recall just how that came up). She became very quiet, and then related the following story.

She was a teenager, and the neighbor boy was just returning from a stint in prison. Her father was a very compassionate man, and he wanted to assist this boy in turning his life around. He felt that if he could date a really solid, church-going girl, it would help him. So he lined his daughter up with the neighbor boy. She didn't say anything about the date. She hesitated, and I could tell it was difficult for her to go on. When she gained her composure, she said: "I just hoped my parents would be able to find my body so they could bury it." I asked her if he had abused her. She just nodded her head. Again, it took her a while before she could go on. Then she told me that eventually he took her back home. She skipped forward then to an intimate time with her husband. Something was triggered and she freaked out. It was very disturbing to her husband and to herself as well. I asked her if she had dealt with the aftermath of the abuse. She looked at the clock and exclaimed: "Oh, I'm late for an appointment. I'm sorry I have to leave right now." With that, she got out of the pool. I haven't seen her since.

She was 61 years old, and I felt that she had never had counseling or healed from the affects of the trauma of the abuse. If we had just had more time, I think I could have gotten her to open up even more and been able to work through some of her issues. As it was, I told her about my book, my website, and my email address, but I don't know how much of that she would be able to recall when she had opportunity to write things down.

I have continued to be concerned about her. I don't know her name or anything else about her. I continue to run into situations like this. I know how scary some of the feelings that come up can be. I know how unsafe you can feel when you've been abused. I know how difficult it is to trust. I wish I could take this woman in my arms and let her know that there is someone who understands what she is feeling and going through, and that there is hope. When you've lived with these issues a lifetime and haven't dealt with them, it begins to just feel like part of life. But it doesn't have to be that way. There is hope, and there are places of trust. And above all, there is a way to heal. And I am dedicated to assist those who need and deserve healing.