- Survivor Military Sexual Assault/Rape
Kori Cioca
Yesterday, January 22, 2012, I had the privilege of attending the Sundance Film Festival in Park City, UT, to a viewing of The Invisible War. My granddaughter, Holly Kearl, is a women’s rights activist, working in AAUW. Her organization is involved with the court case for some of the survivors whose stories are portrayed in the documentary movie. Because Holly is aware that I, too, am a survivor of rape and sexual assault, she wanted to include me.
I was not prepared for the emotional upheavals the movie raised within me. Nor was I at all aware of the many rape survivors who are veterans of the Coast Guard, Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines – more women than men. The one detail that was presented over and over in many different ways was that it ruined each victim’s life – and that hadn’t eased even 25 years later. There were many statistics cited in the movie. Twenty percent of women in the military are raped by coworkers as well as one percent of men. In 2011, the DOD estimated that about 19,000 women were raped while serving in the military. It was brought out that few victims report their rapes and only eight percent of perpetrators are prosecuted and only two percent of those end in convictions (which also are usually very lenient.) The survivors all suffered from PTSD, and it was five times greater than those who had served in combat. I was shocked because I, too, had been diagnosed with PTSD, but I had never obtained any medical treatment for it.
These women – the focus was more on the women but men were included as well – had been on many, many, drugs prescribed by the doctors in the armed forces. Kori, one of the survivors, takes probably 50 bottles of prescription drugs from her cupboards (during the movie) and then documents the fact that some of these drugs taken together could cause death. Some former survivors, who did use these drugs together, are already dead.
Kori had been so severely assaulted by her attacker, as he struck her so hard in her face, that she no longer has discs in her jaws. She suffers continual pain. She cannot go outside in the cold Ohio weather (which intensifies the pain), so she watches from a window as her husband and young daughter go outside to play. Kori can’t open her mouth very wide and can’t chew much. She has to be on a constant soft diet of things like Jello, yogurt, and whipped potatoes. It has been a long five years of horrendous pain with no hope of healing looming in the near future. The VA has sent her to doctor after doctor. The previous ones have not been paid and not any of them have read her chart or is familiar with her problems. Each time it’s like starting over. She’s so afraid of being checked that she has a pre-recorded message on her cell phone to her husband who waits outside the exam room. On one visit, a doctor tried to pry open her mouth, which wouldn’t open and he shoved a mirror into her mouth cutting her gums. She ran from his office totally terrorized.
Another 18-year-old female soldier was gang-raped by 8 or 9 of her male team. They lied, so it is their word against hers. She, like many of her sister survivors, had no recourse. Many were threatened to be tortured, killed and their bodies would never be found. Her attackers were her “brother” fellow servicemen. The military units become as a family – so their sexual assault borders on incest. On top of that, it’s so difficult to report the attacks because so often the rapist is their superior officer or the best friend of the rapist. Military justice is different from civilian. The civilian victim has the right of having someone not “family” assisting her. This doesn’t happen in the military.
One survivor did not have the courage to go public with her sexual assault committed by a 3-star general. Another young girl couldn’t wait to get into the military. Her father was still active and highly decorated. He spoke out publicly at the risk of losing all his benefits. He did a full year’s active service in one of the recent wars while this was going on. He was so emotionally distraught over what had happened to his precious young daughter, he could hardly speak. One of the survivors had worked in the legal area and was also threatened. She still found the power to own her voice and to speak out against the violence done to her.
I was deeply impacted by Kori’s husband, Rob Kioca, both in the movie and while speaking with him personally at the “speak out” following the movie. Because of my own abuse, I could relate to both the deep-seated issues the survivors were dealing with along with intimacy problems in their marriages. Kori openly spoke about it and said there were times when she could not even bare her husband to touch her in any way – not even to hold her hand. All he wanted to do was to caress and comfort her, but in her frenzied state, it all felt like rape. Her teary husband told me personally that he didn’t care about the intimacy. He loved his wife, and if there were never any kind of intimacy in their lives again, he would be there totally in support of her. That is true love. He puts her well-being and emotional upheavals above anything he feels on a personal level. His tears testified to the truthfulness of his words. We stood weeping together at his disclosure. I have never respected anyone more than I did this young man at that moment. 
Myla Haider, Kori Kioca, Trina McDonald
Rob Kioca, standing
Most rapes and sexual assaults are not reported in the military. Again, it’s too frightening, fear of not being believed, and the authority to whom they have to report is like “family”, and mostly nothing is done. Out of all the cases cited in the movie probably less than 10% were sentenced to anything for a year or more.
It’s unbelievable how they get away with actions that are so traumatizing to another individual. I know how it feels, and it’s something that never goes away.
Even when the survivors received any kind of therapy, it was so poor that it didn’t even help and with some made the terror much worse. The gang-raped survivor had to listen to her story every day as assigned by her therapist, and she increasingly got worse. The others repeated the poor attempts at any kind of therapy.
Without exception, they sang the praises of the director, Kirby Dick, and the producer, Amy Ziering, who showed them more love, compassion, kindness, and support than they had previously experienced. Kirby and Amy listened – truly listened – wiped away their tears with their support and love. You could feel the deep appreciation for these two fine individuals as the survivors each said “thank you” in her own way.
Kirby Dick and Amy Ziering
I came home totally exhausted – not so much physically as emotionally. I spent the day attempting to repress my volcanic emotions from erupting. I was in a public place, and it didn’t’ feel like the appropriate or safe thing to release all these pent-up feelings still within me. Just three days earlier, I had revealed to my second daughter about a rape when I was 14. It was a relative I really loved and admired. I had kept quiet for more than 60 years although I had revealed four other major perpetrators. I don’t know why I was never able to speak about this one, but I just couldn’t. Maybe it was because I had always admired him, and it was just too devastating.
I reveal this now to add to the testimonies of these women who had been brave enough to reveal it and to bring a court case forward. DOD's motion to dismiss the survivors' case was granted 12/13/11, but an appeal is being made. Please assist these courageous women by going to www.invisiblewarmovie.com and click on “sign petition”. This is a petition to senators and government to gain support for this issues. They have the support of at least four female senators and two males. But they need a lot more.
It was brought out in the movie that a rapist has assaulted 300 times. These women represent a tiny minority of those who have already suffered and will yet suffer if something isn’t done. These rapists sooner or later are released from the military and move into our communities, our neighborhoods, our streets, and continue to carry on their sexual assaults on innocent victims. The next one could be your own daughter, sister, aunt, niece, mother, granddaughter, cousin, etc. Please let’s gather together to rid our society of this “invisible war”. PLEASE SIGN THE PETITION! Many women will sing your praises for your support. (Link: www.invisiblewarmovie.com - click on "Sign the Petition" button at bottom.)
The women spoke of going to a VA hospital for appointments and receiving “cat calls” as they walked down the halls. Men need to be educated that this IS NOT ACCEPTABLE behavior. Women need your blessings and support, not your taunting. It is a form of abuse, and it needs to stop NOW! Read more on my granddaughter’s website: www.stopstreetharassment.org. Also Google Holly Kearl for much more information about this.
Get involved in making a difference. Together we can unite to change what has and is happening. And if you have been abused, have the courage to speak out. My websites: www.janiceweinheimer.com , www.janiceweinheimer,org, andwww.stoppingabuse.com carry more information and blogs.
Granddaughter, Holly Kearl, posted this on Facebook: Best moments of the day were meeting/chatting with Kori Cocoa, lead plantiff in class action lawsuit against the military and main subject of The Invisible War film...For speaking out, she has lost friends, & is under public scrutiny. She is SO brave. I am in awe." http://www.youtube.com/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/invisiblewar/ (link for pictures from Speak-Out)
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