September 21, 2010

September 21, 2010

Sexual abuse, statutory rape, prison term – all relate to Michael Pratt. Michael Pratt was a LDS Seminary Principal/teacher who was charged with statutory rape of a minor and several other charges. Fourth District Judge Christine Johnson sentenced Pratt to three concurrent terms of five years to life in prison and an additional one to 15 year sentence. Pratt had pleaded guilty in June to one count of forcible sodomy and two counts of object rape, all first-degree felonies, and forcible sexual assault, a second-degree felony. In return, prosecutors dropped 11 other charges. The story link: http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/home/50319781-76/pratt-victim-woman-seminary.html.csp

I have followed his trial with much interest because the same thing happened to me when I was 14-15. My seminary principal was also my teacher. I have just read over 250 comments posted to this related article. I was shocked and saddened by some of the comments. There is much that needs to be understood in this regard. Back in my day, there was no civil action taken against my teacher. My cousin recently was quick to tell his siblings, however, the man was excommunicated from the LDS church as if that was punishment enough. I got the feeling that this was all my cousin felt was necessary (he serves in a high position is the LDS church). Sad, because this teacher went on to become principal of a local high school.

Some feel 6 years to life in prison is severe for the crime (and it was a crime). What about the victim? She was given a life prison term without any possibility of parole. Some readers may be skeptics, but my husband has lived with me for more than 50 years, and he often says that my teacher would have been much kinder to me if he had just killed me. What happened to me has affected every aspect of my life: social, physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, and most of all my children because I was unable to nurture. I was ostracized when I went public with my abuse (as counseled by my third therapist) and treated like I had social plague. I was released from my church callings and put out to pasture. I had been a leader and popular speaker previously.

I went through years of therapy, reading and applying everything I could find that would assist me. I had also been abused severely by a lifeguard one summer when I was 12. I had repressed abuse that had occurred when I was a child. This memory came back after I was 52. I was in a sexual abuse class at Women’s Conference at BYU taught by Dr. Anne Horton, author of Confronting Abuse. There were 450 abused in her class. She taught us some poignant facts: when you are abused as a child, you lose your free agency and “No” is never an option. She gave an example of a woman who had a temple marriage, 6 children, and yet every time her father came to town she had sex with him. To the unlearned, this sounds incredible, but to the abused, it totally makes sense. It’s like a part of your brain goes to sleep when you are in a threatening situation, and your ability to take action is null and void. I was accused of knowing better. I had been taught moral principles. Yes, but in the moment, I became a 4-year-old child again without any authority.

The life sentence includes feeling dirty, unworthy, full of toxic shame, and helpless. Toxic shame means you are totally flawed as a person without any hope of recovery, and totally worthless. The feelings became so intense for me that I wanted to die, to disintegrate so I wouldn’t have the heavy guilt, unlovable even by God, feelings.

I have felt that I should put all that I learned from my experiences to some use. My third therapist told me I had read and studied so much I had an equivalent of a Ph.D. in counseling – I just didn’t have the pigskin. But I had something better – experience. I wrote my experiences and what I learned in my book, The Illness That Healed Me - An Account of Surviving Sexual Abuse and the Journey into Healing, so I could assist the abused to heal. The focus is on healing and forgiving. Forgiving, I feel is mandatory, in order to heal; otherwise the abused remains tied to the perpetrator. I put my email address on the book jacket because I know how scary it is for an abused to contact anyone personally. I may be reached at: puggie37@yahoo.com